Elder Update

Major update on the Elder front. Wynne would write this herself, but she had to hop on a plane to Ethiopia (where she will remain until she brings those babies home). Intrigued? Yep. Hop on over to her blog and read the whole story. We'll keep you posted as it plays out.

You guys have a good weekend. Take it easy. Celebrate all those referrals and court dates and pray for all the traveling families and all those beautiful children that now have families. 

Gotcha Day Art

I came across these brilliant customizable typewriters by Vol. 25 a while ago. I can't wait to buy one. Hmmm, I guess I just need a date. Here's the scoop. You can customize the quote, color, and date. I'm thinking it would make a fabulous Gotcha Day momento.

Going Away: Adoption Tax Credit

Farewell

Over the last nine months, I have been involved in one of the greatest blessings of my life. I have worked behind the scenes and as a blogger for Give1Save1, helping dozens of families offset the immense costs of providing homes and new futures to orphans around the world.

But I’ve decided to take a leave of absence from my post here on Give1 to tackle some other projects. And in leaving, I have a shameless request. I want a going away present. And not just any going away present…I want you to give me about $13,000 in support of my adoption…in fact, I want you to give every American adopting that much, too. 

“What did she just say?” Yep. I’m serious.

Adoption Tax Credit 

I want you to help pass the Adoption Tax Credit. When my husband and I first considered adoption, the Adoption Tax Credit was a giant piece of the financial puzzle for us. At the time, we figured our adoption would easily be finalized in time to take advantage of the credit. Then the “slowdown” came in Ethiopian adoptions. Then we heard that that tax credit was due to be “sunset” at the end of 2012. Wow…not good news. This meant that the $13,000 we were counting on to reimburse some of the debt we were taking on for this process was probably not an option anymore. A very big deal for us…and thousands more families.

For many years, the Adoption Tax Credit has helped 100,000 families annually to offset the costs of adoption, both domestically and internationally. It has made the difference for countless families to provide homes to foster children and the world’s many, many orphans.

Source: Hope for Orphans

On the fence for political reasons? I hear you. I am proud to be this group’s “token liberal” (a term I’ve given to myself), and I’m not a big fan of tax breaks when our country is at war or is facing such an immense deficit. But without this tax credit, fewer (probably dramatically fewer) families will be able to afford adoption. Fewer adoptions mean more children in “the system” (a vast majority of the people adopting in the US adopt domestically). More kids in foster care means more tax dollars needed to support that system of care. Whether we devote tax dollars directly to foster care or through the adoption tax credit, orphans need resources. They need us.

What You Can Do for Orphans 

As it currently stands, the Adoption Tax Credit has a 1 percent chance of passing as legislation. So what can you do about it? Give us 5 minutes and call your Representative today and urge that he or she co-sponsor the bipartisan bill H.R. 4373, the Making Adoption Affordable Act.

You can reach your Representative in the U.S. House of Representatives by calling the U.S. Capitol Operator at 202-225-3121 and asking for your Representative's office. If you don't know your Representative's name, click here and enter your zip code in the box provided.

Here is the message we would ask that you give to your Representative:

•                I am a constituent in your district and the adoption tax credit is important to me. (It matters to me because...)

•                I urge the Representative to become a co-sponsor of The Making Adoption Affordable Act, H.R. 4373.

•                If Congress does not act, the credit as we now know it will expire in December, 2012.

•                H.R. 4373 is bipartisan and it supports all types of adoptions (domestic private, foster care, and international adoptions).

•                This tax credit has made adoption a more viable option for many parents who might not otherwise have been able to afford adoption, allowing them to provide children with loving, permanent families.

•                Thank you for your support of H.R. 4373.

Finally, help us spread the word about this important issue. If you want to learn more about the adoption tax credit, click here. 

Also, "like" the Save the Adoption Tax Credit on Facebook.  

With Love... 

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading this and my other weekly posts on this blog. You have enriched me spiritually and personally. You gave me a purpose so much greater than I could have dreamed when I started this adoption journey.

Keep giving. 

Sick Day

Can I call in a sick day on a blog? I'm still here, but we've had some drama. Brandon had to have a pretty major surgery yesterday to deal with this...

Yeah, that's like half a glass stir stick. He even spilled his drink. It was a bad day, followed by several more. Today is proving to be particularly bad as the packing from his surgery needs to come out and you guys, it's not going well. Prayers, por favor. 

Love ya. See you tomorrow.

PS. Have you donated to the Jacksons yet? Do that. It'll make me feel better. 

Babycakes

Hey hey, everybody! Today is part infomercial and part educational... well, worth your time. I'm kind of wild about the Babycakes product line-up for a bunch of reasons. Ready?



1. They are created by one of our Give1 mamas, Chrissy Jensen, and I always love to support our little family. But this product is way more than a shout out because -
2. The products are all natural, nothing weird, carefully researched ingredients.
3. It's all designed to be absorbed into the skin, not sit all greasy on top of the skin.
4. Kids with sensory processing disorders or autism find the products to be tolerable since they aren't slimy in texture.
5. Can be used on boys or girls (or moms as night cream)
6. Prevent scarring.
7. Has even been used to effectively treat scalp ringworm if your child flat out refuses to take their oral medication. That's good info to keep in your back pocket, right?
8. They can be used by just about everyone. Chrissy is mom of twelve kids, with hair and skin covering the spectrum. She's seen it all. Babycakes is geared primarily towards ethnic skin and hair, though.


So let's get down to the educational bit. This post is a wealth of info coming straight from an interview with Chrissy where she answered all my totally dumb questions about how we might find this new hair and skin to be different, and still handle it's challenges confidently.

Before we talk style (that's a whole other blog), let's talk basics. Many of our children are coming from Ethiopia, as Chrissy's did, and her children's hair and curl patterns varied much between her kids born in the north and in the south. Wildly different. So no one thing is going to work for everyone. She emphasized that nothing is magic, not even the $45 bottle of fancy pants stuff. But generally, African hair is going to be very brittle and fragile and prone to breaking. When brushing, never brush dry. Let's say that again. Never brush dry. A little detangler or even some olive oil and water in a spritzer goes on first. Then brush gently from the ends to the roots.

Another bit of advice for you mamas heading to the pool. Their hair is like a sponge and will soak up whatever it touches first. You don't want that to be chlorine water or salt water. So get it wet first, even if you're using your water bottle! Also, consider using a swim cap if they'll go for it.

Chrissy's favorite products include:
Kinky Curly Knot Today for detangling
Tangle Teezer brush for short hair
Africa Sleeps sleep caps for sleeping, traveling long distances, and keeping in your purse for impromptu sandbox stops. Sand is also an enemy! She recommends gently using a vaccuum to suction out sand if you really need to.
And of course, Babycakes (mint) for moisture, and Honey Butter for styling. Just dab some on top of braids or twists to help hold in place.

Head on over and stock up for your little one. I just got a bottle of Clementine orange scented babycakes. Heavenly. Can't wait. Now I just need the kid...

So anyhow, thank you so much, Chrissy for chatting with me. Ladies, aim your questions at Chrissy in the comments section. She's a safe place to ask totally ignorant questions. She's been there too. :)

New Week, New Family

You guys are in a for a treat today. This video is the coolest thing I've seen in a long time! Drew and Cassie have, since they filmed this, received their referral and court date. They'll be traveling to meet their little man in a few weeks. You know what to do! Donate and share. Believe me, they have given you something to share with this awesome video!

Check out their adoption blog, We Can't Adopt, and donate to the adoption right here.

***So far the Jackson's have raised $725 towards the adoption***

Qualified

You know what’s weird? Some people think I must really love kids. Or I must be a really awesome parent to want to take on more kids. Some kind of super mom. Super Christian. Most of those people have never met me in person.

The people that do know me think I:

• have my hands full with two kids
• am easily overwhelmed
• hate noise 
• despise babysitting (and actually other kids that I don’t know that well - sorry) 
• rarely craft with my kids
• sometimes give them frozen waffles for dinner (when their dad is working nights) 
• often don’t remind them to brush their teeth
• avoid going to public places for fear of mortification by offspring

And personally, I’m no saint. I have a tendency to:

• be materialistic
• be short tempered
• get depressed
• quit easily
• spend too much time online
• care too much about what others think

So you’d think that adopting another (maybe two, eventually) would be a stretch for me. But despite all my ridiculousness in the parenting department and personal shortcomings, I’m beyond thrilled to add another into the mix. 

Because I also have

• a habit of telling my kids that they are loved (20 times a day)
• a welcoming home 
• a desire to grow
• a generous and kind spirit
• a tendency to snuggle
• some pretty awesome qualities that make me a fun, loving, accepting, creative, and supportive mama

Sometimes we feel like we’re not equipped. Sometimes what you see online from me and everyone else is not the whole truth and we know it, so we feel unqualified in our weak moments. But we’re strengthened with a strength from above, and today, and this weekend, please remember that He’s with you the whole time, equipping you as you walk. If you are willing and you’re stepping out in faith, He’s there the whole time. There is a wealth of parenting advice from the ultimate parent if only we ask and be willing to learn. You got this, and so do I. Nobody's perfect, but you're going to be great. 

Have you seen the Sevenly shirt this week?! LOVE the long sleeved version. So gorgeous. This week's charity is 1 Love (que the Bob Marley theme music in your head all day). You get a killer shirt, seriously I love it this week, and a portion of your purchase goes to the Glenhope Nursery, which cares for babies and young children that have been abandoned. Like all Sevenly shirts, it's only around for this week. Right now you've got 4 days left. :)

Brothers and Sisters in Adoption

Buenos dias, you guys. Remember when I told you I'd be taking a few webinars? Well, yesterday I took an awesome one that should become available to you today or tomorrow and I totally recommend you take it. It was about how typical brothers and sisters (meaning any well adjusted child in your home) can help with the adoption, how to cope with upsets, and what to expect as possibilities.

If you have a child older than 5 I'd suggest taking the class to listen to the whole hour. I took a few notes and here's some little tidbits that I took away with me. (*please remember that well adjusted, healthy kids exist in the adoption world, but they don't make great seminar material, so don't freak out too much at the scary possibilities. they are real, but they are only possibilities.)

• The biggie rule of the whole seminar is to MAKE TIME FOR EVERYONE. I know you don't have time. But your only job in life this year is to spend time with every member of your household every day, even if it's just for a few minutes. Nothing else matters. Soccer doesn't matter. Coffee with your girlfriend doesn't matter. Your blog doesn't matter. Some suggestions included taking a typical child out of school for half a day to go for ice cream. Or stagger bedtimes so that everyone gets a personal goodnight. We started implementing that one last night and my oldest loves it already. Bonus, he slept in an extra half hour today too. 

• Expect the adopted child to act younger than their chronological age. Neglect, trauma, institutionalization, and malnutrition play a part in stunting various bits of their growth. The teacher gave an example of an 8 year old with the coping skills of a 3 year old. You know how 3 year olds are kinda mean? Yeah, they are. Look at my little 3 year old. 

I know you'd never believe it by looking at her, but sometimes she throws fits. Wailing, hitting anything within arms reach, throwing toys across the room. Well, imagine an 8 year old doing that. So there were some ideas on how to protect the others during tantrums, like having a safe spot that they can play while the adopted child works out a tantrum. 

• Sharing rooms - believe me, this one was a little sad for me... She recommended (probably pretty wisely) that new kid doesn't need to share a room with the others for a while after they get home. I have total fantasies of the double girl room for Abs and her new sister. Visions of them jumping on their coordinating, but not matching beds... But, it's not suggested until we understand the nature and personality of the new child. Some are sexually active at shockingly young age (at no fault of their own, of course), but still it's something that needs to be investigated before we explore that room sharing idea. The exception was if your kids are old enough and mature enough to come tell you immediately (example = 12 year old and a 7 year old, or something like that).
• Give the typical kids a non-caregiving job to help out, like teaching new sister how to play with legos. It's a learned skill. 

There were so many great points made in this seminar, I can't recommend it enough if you have other kids in the house with you. I thought it would be mostly common sense stuff, but I definitely picked up some tips that I think will make the transition smoother. 

No Greater Love

You guys, I am so excited to read this book. Right now you can pre-order, but it goes live on Friday, and I can't wait to start reading. It's the true story of a man and his family and their move to Ethiopia to rescue a group of children that normally would have been killed to due to superstitious beliefs. They facilitated adoptions for these kids and continue to do so. Yesterday I spent a bunch of time on their website learning about their community in Ethiopia. Essentially, they partner widows and orphans, such a brilliant idea, and a beautiful way to restore both. A widow becomes mom to several children. They live in a house in this community, and through sponsorship of the family, are able to send the kids to school, feed them, take them to church, etc.

The whole thing is just gorgeous. I'm really looking forward to reading this this weekend. If you want to learn more about their organization, Bring Love In, click here. Check out the shop and consider sponsoring a family if you have the means. 

And I'd also like to take a second to encourage some folks, here. Mamas, I'm in the pile of 'waiting' folks. We just hit our 1 month wait mark (not that long, I know), but it was possible that we'd have a referral by now. Not the case. In fact, for us it's looking more and more like we'll be in the post rainy season crowd, which is a little disheartening. As that deadline is approaching, let me just hug all of you who are feeling like you might miss it. I'm sorry. I know sooner is better to you. Me too. But we'll get there. God's got a plan and his timing is perfect. For now, let's just settle into summer and be present for the ones He's already blessed us with. You with me? 

New Week, New Family

Good morning, guys! Ready for a new week? I'm ready to settle into a somewhat normal week after a week of vacation bible school fun and chaos (they usually go hand in hand). Anyway, I'm expecting our first "I'm bored" of the summer today. :)

Well, with a new week is a new family, my favorite part of Monday. This week we'll be supporting the Haden family. They'll be traveling to bring Shepherd home next week! Let's see if we can help them along on that last leg of the journey!

You can donate right here.

***So far you guys have donated $3,296 towards getting Shepherd home!***

Growin' Green

Colorado has had some absolutely gorgeous weather recently, although it's not completely out of the ordinary for us here in foothills of the Rockies. Did you know Colorado boasts more than 300 days of sunshine per year? I think people have this misconception that it's cold and snowy all.the.time here. It's not, really. Of course it snows some, but it doesn't hang around long except in the mountains which makes for our great snowboarding/skiing conditions. Okay, now I'm just bragging on Colorado's weather, but I invite you to come check it out for yourself :)

Anyway, back to the point: the beautiful, warm weather. It can easily be said that I have a thumb that is whatever the opposite color of green is. The anti-green, if you will. Fortunately, my family doesn't share the same trait, so my mom came into town last summer and planted us up some pretty awesome gardens. One of my favorites, though, is the vegetable garden. Our vegetable garden isn't huge, but it sits in a corner by our flagstone patio and it was so fun to eat what we grew! It was like really enjoying the fruits of our (I use the our term loosely, as I've already shared that my mom did most of the work) labor. Since it's been in the 70s lately, we've been clearing out and cleaning up the beds and have enjoyed watching the new green buds popping up - turns out I didn't kill everything over the winter.

I read this article recently written by a woman who views her vegetable garden as more than just a novelty. It's a way for her to save money on her grocery bill! I think it's pretty safe to say many of us watch our budgets more closely these days, so it just seems natural to add a bit of a hobby in gardening as a way to save the dollars. So here's what she said: think about the veggies that are most expensive in your region. For us, peppers always seem to put us out a pretty penny, and we really love using them in our cooking. Last year, we also grew tomatoes. While it was kind of fun because the tomato plants produce a lot, we don't actually eat tomatoes and the plant got so big, it seemed like it was overshadowing everything else. They might not make the cut this year. Other things that are on the list to be home grown this year? Asparagus, onions, green beans. We'll probably add a few more and we're looking forward to enjoying our own fresh food!

What would you all plant in your own vegetable garden? Any secret tips for those of us just starting out?

Created to Connect Study Guide

So, if you're just starting out in the adoption world, no matter where you are adopting from, the go-to book for all adoptions is The Connected Child. The author, Dr. Karyn Purvis, is a kind genius who explains a million little facets of your gem in her book. But somehow I had no idea until yesterday that the book has a free Christian study guide. The book itself is not written from a Christian perspective, it's mostly just facts and possible solutions. The Created to Connect Study Guide was written by Dr. Purvis with Michael and Amy Monroe, to give scripturally based backing. I, for one, will be rereading! You can download your copy here. 

This video is one of a million helpful ones on the Empowered to Connect website. You have got to check it out. This site is an amazing resource as a parent or church worker starting up an adoption ministry. I'm totally hanging out on this website on the weekend. I heard someone (shout out to Island Lisa!) say that she hates weekends as an adopter. I can SO relate! At least I'll have something to do this weekend.

Fun Care Package Ideas

So, is it me, or have the referrals been coming in like crazy?! And so many traveling families. I love to see it. With all these referrals and traveling comes a super fun right of passage... the care package.

I've heard a few bits of advice regarding care packages. One is to not send something too expensive or special as it may be lost, stolen, or given away. I've heard that the older kids, especially, tend to give all their stuff to their friends before they leave. So that handmade quilt that I know you are dying to see your child with... you might want to wait for the bring home trip on that one. Here's a few ideas that I've come across. What are you/ will you/ did you/ would you send in a gallon sized bag?

{maybe some handmade felt dress up dolls}

{recordable story book}

{a sweet stuffed animal}

Your turn. What goes in the care package? Any wise words?

Embracing Diversity

For many families, adopting out of Ethiopia brings different ethnic and cultural backgrounds into the same home. For homes with small children, candid comments abound. I thought I would search around for books, games and art that would provide appropriate and fun responses to such topics. Here's what I found.



Activities that Promote Racial and Cultural Awareness

Children's Games to Teach Anti-Discrimination

New Week, New Family

Hey Guys! This is Taylor. Ok, she's obviously not African. We're breaking rules a bit this week because we need to (and you guys are so sweet, I don't think you'll mind a bit). You see, her forever family needs to get to her super fast and the funds need to be in place to make that happen. There's a back story that you need to know first, though. The Dewberry's were all set to adopt a young man a few months ago. They went through the entire adoption process, flew across the world to bring him home, and were then rejected by the boy himself. Obviously, they were heartbroken, but eventually started to heal. That's when they came across Taylor, who is in Eastern Europe. She's HIV+, something we are all too familiar with, but it's very much kept her from finding a forever family... until now. 

The Dewberry's were paper ready having just gone through an entire adoption process. She's ready and set to be picked up in a matter of weeks, and absolute MIRACLES have taken place this week to make that happen. We're in the very home stretch and I'd be honored to be a part of her story. How about you?! We really need to slam this donate button hard today.  The sooner the better because traveling is upon them and the travel bill is going to be a whopper as some kind of big deal sport thing is happening where they are headed (and rooms and food are like 10x the normal rates).

So far the Dewberry's have raised $24,161 towards their adoption (like in the last WEEK). Still need about $8K!!!

***If you happen to be adopting from Europe and want to be featured, normally we only do African adoptions and are in the process of creating a Give1 just for Europe... but we still need bloggers. Interested? The pay is zero and the hours are long, but it's a beautiful gig. Email me at b.cupitt(at)yahoo(dot)com

Seminars and Webinars

I remember, not so fondly, the hours of video training we had to do when we first embarked on this adoption journey. It was mostly common sense stuff, and I totally get why it's required and it should be. But it was not awesome and I was not eager to jump in and watch more informative babble. Alas, now we are waiting and there is big fat nothing to do. I pop in my Amharic for Adoptive Families every now and then, but I'm not sure if we're getting a big or a little, and if we're getting a little it might be kind of goofy to learn Amharic. So I willingly signed up for more training. This stuff seems a little more applicable and interesting, though. On June 19th I'll be taking the live seminar (webinar? what does it mean?) about brothers and sisters during the adoption process. How to make the family blend better and what to keep an extra eye on. I'm actually pretty excited to grow my brain on this one. Another one that looks kind of cool is the Lifebooks class, which is only $10. I could get into that. There are a bazillion courses you could take regarding attachment, brain development, discipline, being a conspicuous family, and even navigating Christmas with a newly adopted child (some are even free). Here's the course list. Have any of you taken any of these classes? What would you like to take? I'm totally interested in the Christmas one, actually.

Father's Day Ideas

***Heads up! NEW BLOG! That means grab your new button over there on the left. Love the Africa heart? ME TOO! Fear not, soon you'll be able to purchase it in T-Shirt form, proceeds benefitting our Greenlight community in Addis. Also, be sure to subscribe to the blog over there on your right. ***


Father’s Day is June 17. And just as moms expect at least a tiny bit of acknowledgement that we’re doing OK, dads (including dads-to-be) need to hear it, too.

So I asked my husband what he wants or if there was anything special he wanted to do for Father’s Day.  As expected, he said, “No, I don’t need anything for Father’s Day.” Hmm…yeah, not the answer I wanted. I pressed on. “Are you sure? We could go someplace fun or do something special for dinner…anything?” Without skipping a beat, he replied, “I want to see a picture of our daughter.”

Given that we are waiting for our referral, and will most likely be waiting for at least another three months, this broke my heart. So of course, I burst into tears.

Since I can’t give him a picture of our daughter in a leather frame, I have been searching for other ideas, and I thought I would share some.

Does your husband love his iPad? Check out this Product(RED) iPad Cover for $69. Your purchase supports the Product(RED) campaign to provide HIV treatment and prevention.



I tend to give books as gifts, and there are lots of great books about adoption and/or Africa.

• My favorite adoption book is There is No Me Without You by Melissa Fay Greene. It’s a true story about a woman who started caring for orphans before there were many orphanages in Ethiopia. Despite the title, it’s not a mushy, sentimental book as much as it is a historic account of Ethiopia and its orphans.


• My husband really enjoyed Baby, We Were Meant For Each Other: In Praise of Adoption by Scott Simon (the host of Weekend Edition on NPR). It includes stories about adoption from many perspectives.


• The Lonely Planet Guides are trusty travel books—a must-have for any couple gearing up for an international trip.


• For a business-savvy husband, check out Dead Aid by Dambisa Moyo or The End of Poverty by Jeffrey Sachs. Both explain problems in the developing world and interesting strategies for sustainable economic development.

Or, do you know someone who is selling things for their adoption? Buy a shirt or bracelet for your hubby AND support an adoption at the same time. Everyone wins. My favorites right now are these $10 bracelets that support a family adopting two children who are HIV+ (yes, lots of guys were bracelets...manly ones):



So none of these are a picture of our daughter, but they will have to do for now. Share your father’s day gift/activity ideas in the comments. Feel free to share links for tshirt fundraisers that might be great gifts for dads.

New Summer TOMS

Swoon! These are only three of the awesome new TOMS. Honestly, I'm so happy they do these wedges and flats now! Pop on over and be sure and check out the Tiny TOMS new botas. I love them all!

Some Beautiful New Faces in the Give1 Family

You know, we watch videos and we see pictures and most of the time those darling faces are blurred out or they have a heart over them. We get it. It's necessary, legal even. But oh, when we finally get to see those faces!!! Guys, this is why we're here. These are the faces we've advocated for and prayed for. These are the faces of some of the newest members of our little Give1 family.

Moses Hapner

Adrian Johnson

Moses(above) and Miriam (below) Roepnack 

Three out of four Sanfords

These are just a few faces. Just to serve as a reminder that they are all His and they are all ours. I love everyone of them! Don't you?!

Hey mamas, we have so many families to keep up with now (we're almost a year old, you know) that I lose track on Facebook, so email me with pics and updates if you want everyone to know how you're doing! We're dying to know!

***Don't you love it when I throw in random asides... Here's one. Give1 is branching way the heck out, but I can't do it all solo. I'm looking for bloggers to do a Give1 site for Asia, America, and Europe. The Caribbean is already getting started, so email me if you're interested in that one and I'll pass you on to the main blogger there. Tell your friends!!!