Back to school time is almost here! This year Little Mister will be in 1st grade! I can't believe it. We attempted homeschool for a couple of months last year, but I don't think it's going to work for us, so back to public it is. I'm looking forward to spending some alone time with Abby before Jude comes home. Anyhoo, back to the topic.
We all know how important it is to teach and instruct our kids to have kind hearts and open minds. Well, look what I found on Pinterest to help that little endeavor along (good pin, Linsy Wallace!). Compassion International has a few free lessons regarding God's Global Family. The lessons include studies on geographic regions and what their life is like, as well as Biblical teachings on things like evangelism, giving, and praying for others. Check it out if you're looking to fill up a couple of summer weeks!
It's totally not mine. It's a brilliant idea that I found via Pinterest (all of my great ideas are completely unoriginal and come straight from Pinterest). The clever lady behind it is Carissa, from lowercase letters. She came up with the idea to use a SMASH book as a scripture scrapbook to help the littles memorize scripture (and I just happened to have an extra SMASH laying around). My 6 year old is taking to it like crazy. I involved the kids (as much as I could) in the process of creating it, and it's not at all done yet. We're doing one page every day or two. Here are a few we've done so far.
Little Mister is absolutely loving making these. In fact, he has taken to scouring the Bible to find verses he likes. He's six, so this is a little different, but we're going with it. I love that he considers 'pools' and 'cats' to be a good and perfect gift. This is a fun age. Now here's where I totally deviate from the normal Give1 post, so I'm trying to tie it together, see...
I promised said Little Mister that he could make a cameo on Give1 Save1 instead of our regular family blog. He actually knows that this one gets more traffic and he wants a bunch of comments. In fact, he'll be checking this post obsessively to see if there are any responses, so I beg you, help a mom out! For a project he needs to graph these results. Here we go...
I mustache you a question... What is your favorite color? Red, blue, green, yellow, or orange?
So, this crowd is a mix of gals, some adopters, some not. But I have started reading a book called Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids, and I think this a gem. Though I think the author could have heeded his own advice and whittled the name of the book down, I think that anybody could find this one useful. When you adopt and are getting ready for your home study you are given a huge list of reading to do and I totally think this book should make the list. From an adoptive standpoint, apparently my future child might really really really benefit from a serious slow down. How many kids are screaming at you right now? Right this second I have one screaming at me. The other one went to SCHOOL today (happy dance), so it's just the one screamer. Ok, now my Ethiopian child is one of 100 in the same house. I imagine, first of all, that that's pretty loud. I bet smells are out of control. I bet she feels out of control. She owns little. She has no choices (what to wear, eat, do today). No one to slow down and teach her anything. This type of thing can lead to developmental delays and insecurity.
So when she gets here it's my job to sort of hit a reset button. This book was written by a psychologist who has working in developing countries, particularly with children who are part of families fighting for survival. Then he worked in England and America and found that our children behave similarly to children experiencing post traumatic stress disorder. They can be easily overwhelmed, the exhibit controlling behavior, the have attention deficit disorders, are hyperactive. The connection he has made is super interesting. His theory is that both sets of children have been dumped into an adult world with little reverence for slowness (is that a word?) and childhood. We might say we have reverence for childhood, but really the speed of our lives, the overwhelming multitude of decisions, the multitasking, the political discussions, the working from home (guilty of all of these) can't possibly make room for the pace and space that childhood really requires. I tend to agree. Now I'm getting to the good part of the book, what to do about it.
This guy is nicknamed Dr. Trashbag because he first suggests a HUGE slimming of stuff. I'm undertaking it today. Don't yell at me. I'm not all the way in this thing. I haven't even finished the book. BUT my kids aren't even playing with the toys they got for Christmas. They probably don't even know what they got for Christmas. He suggests first to take the toys (and books too!!! yikes!) and get rid of half of them. Then take the half that you are left with and half that. One half goes in the room, the other in 'reserve' to rotate through. I'm working on this while the kiddies are gone today. He largely uses Waldorf type stuff claiming that imagination and lack of crazy whacked out toys and SpongeBob help kids develop at a natural pace. In my bones, I agree. Let's test the theory. While this type of thing is supposed to be ideal for adopted kids, who in the world could not benefit from slowing down and turning off?! The Amish, maybe. But I'm going to give it a shot!
PS. Have you donated to the family of the week yet? That's why I write this craziness. So you'll give some other family money. I'd be pleased as punch if you did. This mom is meeting her 2 new babies right now. She can't spread the word about her own week since she's out of town. Could you do it for her? Just hit that red button over there at the top right.
Hey y'all. So, Jen Hatmaker's new book, Seven: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess is out. I read it in about 2 days. Very good, and as always, huh-larious. Like, laughing out loud, shaking the bed laughing. It shines a light on just how much we consume (food, clothes, trash, media, etc). She goes on a month long fast from seven areas of excess. For example, in month 1, food month, she only eats seven foods. And I don't mean Mexican food as one. I'm talking seven ingredients. This one seemed pretty hard, but in the end, most of the world doesn't have the luxury of seven ingredients. It was a real eye opener in how much we have (and still continue to want). It was refreshing and educational. It shows one woman's way out of the craziness and I really appreciate that. I think we're all sort of there, don't you?
By far, my favorite chapter was about stress. This one really speaks to me. I'm a simple housewife/blogger chick. That should not completely unglue me, but it does most days. So I needed this chapter. Jen cited a book, Seven Sacred Pauses: Living Mindfully Through the Hours of the Day. You guys, this one has changed my life in 24 hours! It's a book that teaches an ancient practice of praying at specific times for specific things. It's a gorgeous concept and has kept me completely centered for a solid day. That's a victory, folks. Pardon my new use of the words 'centered' and 'gratitude' and "mindful". I might sound all Buddha, but whatever. I promise that you will not be led down a freaky hippy path or anything. This book is written by a Christian nun named Macrina Wiederkehr and guides you through the prayers of the hours. It all comes so naturally and is perfectly timed with the natural rythm of your day. For example, in the morning there is a prayer for joy and gratitude of a new day. There are Psalms that you read with each one. It's so nice and not stressy and so welcome in my life. Incorporating more prayer into my life is one of my resolutions this year, but such a vague one, right? Well, this book is spot on for setting easy steps for making sure it happens.
So, ladies, how about a giveaway? Both of these books will go to one random commenter. Just tell me one thing... what do you feel like you have enough of? Is there anything in your life that you feel like scaling back on? Just leave a comment and I'll pick a winner on Saturday morning.
*UPDATE* This one is closed. Michelle Cain, you are the winner!
The adoption world tosses around the 'attachment' word a lot. Like alot alot. Truth is we all need help "attaching" to our kids and keeping that bond strong. I'm reading so many books about how to foster attachment with your adopted child, but honestly I'm finding all this stuff ridiculously helpful bonding with my birth kids. Of course I read all kinds of stuff like this when I was prego with my kids. And everybody under the sun recommends some kind of baby back pack to hold your bambino while you go about your daily business. Literal attachment. :) For babies, there are a ton of options. Wraps, back packy contraptions, and slings... I was a sling girl myself. These slings by Seven make me want a baby all over again. When my babies were small enough to wear in a sling my hair did not look like this and neither did my belly or arms...huh, weird...
Experts recommend that you hold and snuggle the toddlers and older kids as much as possible as well. This one by Ergo is BY FAR everyone's major top dog preference for giant toddlers and preschoolers. They aren't as cute as the slings. I know. But they're practical. I could probably carry my grandma in one of these suckers. And everyone says they're really comfy. And the color's not bad. They even have some Petunia Picklebottom prints. This is the route I'll probably be going.
Then they're a wrap style. There's some serious versatility in these. I love how the African women carry them on their back. Duh! Why don't we do that? How many times have I had awesome intentions to carry around my kid in a sling and then had my household duties nixed because the sleeping baby was in the way. You can't really chop onions with a six month old reaching for your knife. So anyway, those African ladies have one on us with the whole rucksack carry. Here's a good little tutorial on how to pack your baby like a proper Ugandan.
Rachel and Jesse are adopting two bambinos, so they're going to have to get used to using some of these things. Some of those Seven slings are manly enough for a guy I think. By the way, you guys ROCKED OUT day 1 of the Leos Give1 week. That was record breaking wildness. Thank you so much for everyone who has donated. You guys are awesome. Have I told you that lately?
Hey guys, me again. For today's little installment of Peaceful Parenting I'd like to open a discussion. I want to know what's in your bag of tricks. The truth is my bag is sparse. It's often large, often forgotten, and usually feebly packed. SO when attempting a peaceful venture out in scary public, what do you bring to smooth the journey?
You guys, I have so much to tell you today. Pardon me if I'm a little all over the place. Let's start with Peaceful Parenting this lovely chilly Thursday. This week I attempted a pin that I saw on Pinterest. It seemed ridiculously wise. It's a Calm Down Jar. It's designed to be used to help your kid chill when they're all spazzy. You put in a tube of glitter glue, a cup of hot water, and a little extra glitter. The glue will make it fall slowly and your kid should watch it until the glitter settles back on the bottom.
The thing is that my kids hate it. They totally know it's just a prettier time out. Will whines the whole time. I try and tell him that it's pretty and just relax and watch it, but he protests so much that it is far from peaceful. So this week it's a Peaceful Parenting FAIL for me. Got any other ideas for spaz time?
Moving on to more updates. I told you this week that we decided to go for a 4 or 5 year old girl. Well, I know you totally don't care about every detail of our adoption, but I'm going to keep you up to speed because some people are following along to learn about the process. So here's the scoop. We've made one last final change. It's going to be a 2 or 3 year old girl for us after all. Studies show that the best case scenario for adopted families are to go with a child at least a year younger than your youngest. And for us that's 2 or 3, so that's our final decision. That also means that our wait time is going to be quite long. So you're stuck with me for a while.
Ok, now a goofy update. Remember last weeks' little sewing project? Check it out. I finished one! I love her. My friend Destiny makes fun of me every day for my freakish new doll obsession, but can you blame me?! She's so cute. And tiny. I know you can't tell how tiny she is, but she's only six inches tall. I decorated a mailer box from paper source (with watercolor, collage paper, and glitter) and made it her little "house". My daughter loves her to death, but this little sweetie is Africa bound. I'm putting her in a blessing bag, so some little girl will get a fun surprise. There will definitely be lots more of these happening before Christmas.
And one more update. The Martinez family now has over $1000 including the Dollar Mob donations!!! I have been waiting for us to bust 1K for a few months now and YOU did it. That's a big chunk, you guys! Thank you to everyone who ever told anyone about this blog or this family or one of our other families. Thank you for everyone who's ever donated and everyone who's ever added something to the shop. Just thank you! You guys are my favorite people.
I know you think I'm joking but I'm not! This one I have learned to my core. You must get dressed. It must make you feel good (or at least not bad). Accessories are the cherry on top and you need the cherry on top. Let's break down some possible cute Mommy outfits and why they work. And then we'll chat about how getting dressed is going to make you a more peaceful parent. I'm sure of it.
This is a winner because it's comfortable, cute, and covers the Mommy bump and butt crack. Yes, I'm talking about butt crack becaause you know how often we have to bend. Picking up stuff off the floor ALL day. You want all your stuff covered. So I'm a fan of this outfit.
More of the same reasons. Thank you, long shirts. By the way have you seen this cute long shirt? One of my favorite adoption shirts to date. Just bought one yesterday. I'll be pairing mine with boots and dangly earrings.
Another fave. Sweater dress with leggings and boots. Except my boots don't have big scary heels. I go for leggings and dresses in the winter because they're super comfortable and look pulled together.
And now for how getting dressed (properly and all the way) makes you a better Mom. It's because you're ready for anything and don't feel ashamed of how you look when the UPS guy comes or your mother in law pops in. You're confident and you feel at peace. And that radiates. You know that Proverbs 31 wife? Verse 22 says "...she is clothed in fine linen and purple." That means she doesn't look like Franny in sweats. Taking care of yourself is the first step to taking care of your family. So get dressed. Put on some earrings even. And face your day with a smile. Your little ones will smile back. I promise.
Hey! Want to see my bedroom? It's totally relevant. I know it's a dark cave, but I like that in bedrooms.
Want to know why I'm showing you my bedroom? OK. It has to do with peaceful parenting. Ready?
You know how I usually (ok, still often) wake up? To someone in my house saying "Mooooooom". Do you know how bad that sucks to wake up like that every day? I bet you do. I'm not fond of that first plea from the depths of my unconsciousness. Sure, it's nice to be needed, but a girl's got to sleep. I started thinking that life would be alot more peaceful if I didn't wake up on everyday. You know what I mean? That it would be nice to be awake before being thrust into the day unwillingly. But how? How can I wake myself up without waking everyone else up? That would defeat the point. I bought a coffee pot with a timer, but when the coffee started brewing in the kitchen and I would wake up and go turn on the light, fish around in the fridge, and bang around some mugs, the kids would be up too. So we did this. It's a little bit brilliant.
We set up a little Starbucks in my room. Now the timer is set and coffee starts brewing right there in my room. A few of my favorite mugs are in there. And some girly creamer that my husband won't touch with a ten foot pole.
And as an added bonus, once the coffee starts brewing I make my bed and get dressed. So by the time the coffee is done, I'm good to go. And then I get to sit there alone and drink my coffee and do my Bible study early and ready. That, girls, is a totally peaceful morning. Unconventional, maybe, but it's working wonders. By the time those little bodies wake up and need me, I'm ready and charged.
I'd like to start a new little series on here that I'm going to run on Thursdays called Peaceful Parenting. This is ironic because I'm usually the opposite of peaceful. Man, it's a word that I love and it's one of my top 3 favorite feelings, but sadly it's probably not the word that you would use to describe me. And that's always bugged me, but I'm entering a realm of parenting with this adoption stuff that requires me to calm down and chill out. Easier said than done, right? Adopted kids need a high level of predictability and peace in the home to function at their highest. They may have been abused or threatened in their past and obviously a screechy spazzy moody mom is not going to foster a safe feeling, right? I know we're not all adoptive moms on this blog, but most of us are moms. And mamas, guess who else thrives on predictability and peace? You. Your kids (adopted or natural). Your husband. My family is thriving as I'm trying to embrace some of these principles. So join me and let's all just chill out.
I have found that the most helpful thing that I can do for myself is to PLAN ahead and predict everybody's needs. And do as much as I can when I have energy and time, not necessarily when it's normally done. For example, mornings are usually chaos, but we can predict what needs to be done in the morning and do it beforehand. Like breakfast. Obviously the little tikes are going to need breakfast. If I make breakfast ahead of time, that's one thing off my gigantic morning to-do. Here's a few ideas.
I'd say the morning sort of sets the tone for the day so starting it right is important. Nothing feels worse than feeling behind before you even get started! Of course, there's more to the morning than breakfast and we'll chat a little more about that next week. Do any of you have any fabulous morning tips?
