I'm quickly entering a new season of life, the season of motherhood...
It will be here before I know it. This weekend we took our high school seniors up to Lake Shasta for their senior trip. As we were giving them advice about starting their new season in life, I found myself thinking that I needed to hear the same thing! I've longed to me a mother for so long, and now that the reality is coming up that soon (Lord have mercy I hope it's soon) our little man will be home.
I find myself pausing and while I want to fast forward sometimes until he's here, I want to pause because I know this season of my life is ending. I'm beyond thrilled, ecstatic.
But as the school year ends (I'm teacher) I pause looking at my little students knowing that this is my last year, this time next year I'll be working with my own little guy on ABC's and 123's.
Someone tell me this is normal.
I find myself sitting and thinking a lot. Thinking about attachment and bonding, thinking about a plane ride home with a sweet boy who will most likely be scared to death.
I know not everyone can relate to this, but even as paper chasers, I think you go through seasons you know? The crazy busy season of photocopies and notaries, and then maybe notarizing again because you had the wrong wording once you got to the state office (oh was that just us?) But then you enter the season of waiting and thinking it will never ever end, but one day friend it will end! And all you've been reading about will be happening to you.
I find myself now more than ever needing to have total dependence on God. I'm reading this awesome book recommended by our own Wynne, called "The Circle Maker" it's totally challenging how I pray and I've found that in this season, I'm in need and I find myself in constant prayer. There's a part in the book where the author asks when you last hurt your knees from praying so long. I think my knees are getting sore, because I've been a prayin'! Praying for new seasons and new growth not just for me but for all of you too! As we are all on this road together, whether we've adopted, are adopting know someone adopting, love Jesus or maybe just a blog readers (we love you too!) I'm praying for us all as we're learning to swim in these new seasons we're in or entering. Remember when you learned how to swim? The water was so scary...until you learned how to swim..
Was that totally a jumble of nothing? That's how my brain feels at this very moment. Please don't tell our social worker ;) And someone please say this is normal.
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