8 months later, we were up to our necks in all things adoption. We received our monthly waitlist number and celebrated each time it moved down.
Then things took a sharp and drastic turn. Through an unforeseen set of events, God broke our hearts for waiting children. Older children and special needs children, who no one lines up for. I knew our agency had a waiting child list and we began to look at it and pray about adopting a waiting child. We realized this meant we would most likely disrupt the birth order of our family, something that is controversial in the adoption community. After much prayer, we had total peace about adopting a child older than our Ellie, now 17 months old. God also showed us that Cade, now 4, should remain our eldest. We saw that he relished his position as firstborn and we did not want to take that from him.
After much prayer and reflection, we approached our agency. We knew their policy on disrupting birth order was firm, but we were also confident that the child God had for us wasn't an infant. And guess what?
They said no. Our request was out of the question and wouldn't be considered.
We prayed again. Was this the proverbial "door closing?"
Then came the difficult decision. We left our agency, and a sizeable amount of money, and chose to pursue a waiting child. We never looked back.
The path the Lord took us on from there was a wild one. Just three months after leaving our agency, we accepted the referral of a 3 year old boy from another country. His referral picture showed a frowning child with a bloated belly. We began planning for him to join our family.
Then we received an e-mail one day stating more information had been discovered about our child and he wasn't 3 after all. He was 4. Not only that, he was just 6 weeks younger than our Cade! If disrupting birth order is sometimes frowned on in adoption, artificial twinning is thought to be even more "risky." Yet, we had total peace that THIS was our child. We moved forward.
Four months ago, we brought our son home. Almost daily someone asks nervously, "How's it going....?" and everyday I answer them
It has been amazing. We have struggled. We have laughed and cried and lost sleep. We have had issues and we have dealt with them.
God has been so good to our family. He has done a miraculous healing work in my child's heart. My child, who has seen more than any 4 year old should, loves us. He gives hugs and asks to be held. He smiles and makes eye contact and is happy to be in a family.
And what about my other two children? Well, they've learned greater compassion than just about any other preschoolers I know. Cade has accepted his younger brother with wide open arms, and we sometimes laugh that we don't know what those two ever did without each other. They laugh, play, and (sometimes) fight, just like brothers do. Our little Ellie is never far from her older brothers, stepping in the middle of their train track or knocking down their block creation. The three of them make messes and mischief.
Please know, I never said it was easy. Nor do I think this path is for everyone. Yet, our God has never left us and has shown himself to be faithful.
Thank you, Lara! If you'd like to read more of The Farmer's Wife Tells All, let me point you to my super fave, The Shallow Gal's Guide to Africa. There are some gems in there. And before you leave, hit that donate button over on your right to support the adoption of the week.