Anyhoo, let's get down to business. We've got a new family of the week, the Roughtons. Mom, Summer, has a neat bit of her journal that she's shared with us. Ladies, you know how it can sometimes be delicate territory when you're ready for a new little one and we've got to get the hubs on board. Well, here Summer shares how that all came about for them.
Our journey of adoption began long before we filed our first application to adopt. It began in 1999 while I (Summer) was still in college, single, and waiting for the perfect man to make himself known. It began with a single friend. A friend I had known since junior high. A friend I had loved just as long as I had known her. A sweet friend who found herself pregnant before the time she was ready to be a mom. The journey that she took through her pregnancy to giving her daughter up for adoption was a journey that inspired me to realize that one day, in the perfect timing God had, I would expand my family due to the gift of adoption.
When I married my wonderful husband Todd, he knew that I wanted to one day adopt at least one sweet child. I can still remember the response he gave me in the moment I shared with him my desire to bring a child into our home via adoption. He looked at me with his blue eyes, smiled and said; “Wow, that’s great. I don’t have a desire too.” In that moment, I was not defeated. I was strengthened to pray. Pray for his desire to change. Pray without talking about it. Pray without letting anyone but a few friends know I was praying. It was my personal plea with God. Not a plea that I made daily, but rather one that I made when it was placed on my heart. What Todd did not realize was God placed that call in my life and time strengthen my desire and my prayer for change. He gave me a charge to adopt someone. Sometime. What I did not know was the process was going to take time, it was going to be emotional, and it wasn’t going to go the way that I thought it would go or the way that I wanted it to go. However, it would go the way HE wanted it to go. When call places a call on your life, you can’t run from it, you can’t push it into existence, you have to wait for it to come to fruition… if it is really a call from God, it will come.
For 11+ long years, I asked God to change my husbands heart. About the time I was going to give up and resign the idea of ever adopting, Todd read a book that inspired him towards opening his mind to adoption. In a small section of the book Radical by David Platt, the author shares of his families call to adoption. It is not a large part of the book, possibly even a part that some might skip over, but it is a part that captured the heart of my husband. The part that would inevitably change the makeup of our family forever. Platt shared how we, as a unit of believers, need to care for those who are widowed and orphaned. I remember the summer day well, he turned to me and said, “I think I am open to thinking about adoption.” That statement was a large victory, tied up in a small sentence, giving me hope and strength to continue to pray. He was open to the idea of thinking…
My prayers became more frequent. More fervent. More poignant. I began to plea deeper with God for that confirmation in Todd’s heart to say, “Yes, lets do this. Let’s adopt.” Again, I waited. I cried to God. Months went by. And nothing else came up. No conversations. No small glimpses of hope. I had almost given up again and then a miracle happened. My own personal miracle. The day God would show me he was listening my prayers. That he had heard the heart of a mom who desired to have more kiddos through adoption. That day, morning actually, will forever be burned into my heart and my mind for the rest of my life. It was the morning of November 1st, 2011.
First we MUST back up a day or two. We were on our way up to a friend’s house to spend Halloween with them and their kiddos. God had knit our family’s together years before, when Kara and I met through mutual friends in college. She was destined to be my kindred spirit. When we walked into their house, they met us with the exciting news that they were going to be adopting. My heart hurt a little. I wanted that to be me, saying that to them, but it was reversed. She was telling me all about her journey of praying for Jeff to come around to the idea (sounds familiar), how her desire had started before she had ever met Jeff (ugh) and how she had prayed for a lot of years for Jeff to come around to the idea (yep… she was telling my story). But Jeff had come around. He had said he was ready. I thought I was going to burst into tears right there, in the kitchen, and no one was going to understand. All I could do was pray. God give me the excitement I need to show this beautiful family how excited I am for them. Give me the courage to simply smile at my husband without the eyes of… ‘come on please… why can’t this be us?’
God granted me those requests.
Those tears were held back.
The joy came unabashed for Jeff & Kara.
And my eyes simply said… ‘one day, maybe?’
Now, it is November 1st. Monday morning. Early. We are on our way home from their house. We had driven about 15 minutes. The kids are groggy in the back seat. I am still in my pajamas trying to engage in conversation to help Todd enjoy the ride home, since I had convinced him to stay one more night and wake up early to get home in time for school/ work. He turned to me and said, “I’m ready to adopt.” That was it. Four words that sent my emotions into over drive. 11+ years of praying. Countless talks with different friends who encouraged me to just pray and wait. Tears spilled over the fact that I never thought I would be able to adopt. Four words that showed me that God alone had changed the heart of my husband. The next few moments changed our life forever. My simple response was, “From where?” To which he said…
The Roughtons have now passed court and are waiting to travel. Thanks so much for your donations and shares. And a bunch of you guys have asked for something and I've made it happen. Look over there to your left. See the button that says 'Cool Links'. That's where I'll be keeping totals (current and past) and links to the family's blogs so you can check in on everyone.