So we're at the two full weeks home and I thought I'd give you the pros and cons play by play. So here we go:
- I'm getting the hang of how to get three kids out the door in the morning. Will has to go to school at the precise moment that Abby wakes up and Jude gets sleepy for his first nap. That's tricky, peeps, but I'm making it happen.
- I hired a maid. Yes, I did. At least for a while. I feel out of control with my house such a wreck and I'm just staring at it, housebound, holding a baby. I actually chased her down the street when she stuck a card on my door. "Come back! Please, help me!!!" I really said that. I bet she doesn't come back next week.
- Jude is getting more comfortable with me and the kids. He still prefers Brandon (who got a bonus week in Ethiopia before he came home), but he's starting to light up for me a little.
- The honeymoon phase of fun is over. We're back to the business of laundry and dishes and child rearing and I'm really exhausted.
- I can't really complain about anything. Because I begged and pleaded and went public and fundraised and everything else. I can't tell the world that this is really hard. Maybe they are watching me and want to adopt. I don't want to say "No, you totally should, it's just that it's really hard." But it kind of is. Because on many levels he's instantly mine and we love each other already. And on the other hand, we just properly met two weeks ago and don't really know each other all that well. Sometimes he just gets upset and will stop letting me comfort him. He won't look at me. I'll try and talk and rock and coo and be sweet, but if he gets in a sad mood, he won't look at me. It breaks my heart that he won't let me help him. He's still grieving and he doesn't even have the words to express it. So that's the hard.
But the good is really good. It's just that the hard is really hard. Does that make sense? I actually totally don't want to complain on here all the time because I'm still thankful. I'm still having fun most of the time. I actually love my life as mom of three (especially when I work a kink out). But I do promise you that this is one place that we'll be super honest because people really do need to know the whole truth of adoption to be able to make the right decision. So the truth of week two is the goods are better and the bads are worse. These things take time, and I'm honored and blessed to be chosen to be their mom.
You guys have a great weekend!!!