Hey guys! I'm so excited to share our guest blogger with you today, he's my husband, Justin! I've been begging him to write a guest post for a long time, something from a dads perspective, because let's be honest, our husbands probably took longer than we did to jump on the adoption train, and if you're like me, you've maybe thrown some new "twists" to your husband, some new plans perhaps? I've done that once, twice, several times to my husband. So, here's a little bit from the daddy's side...
Well after many attempts to get me
to guest blog, Steph has finally talked me into it. When we first started on
this road of adoption, I had many fears. My fears were way different than my
wife’s though. Although I was excited about becoming a dad and bringing
two boys home, fear has been the prominent feeling that I had in the
beginning. While my wife was worrying about nursery plans, I was worried
about where the money was going to come from to get him home. While my
wife was talking about “attachment plans” with me, I was worrying about how I
was going to connect with two children that not only didn’t have my DNA, but
were also born in an entirely different part of the world. While my wife
was dreaming of being a stay-at-home mom, I was worrying about how I would
provide for my soon to be family of four.
Don’t get me wrong, I have always
been beyond excited to become a dad, and I know that I will love my sons more
than anything-but I had allowed fear to get in my way. I allowed the
enemy to get in. I began to think about my relationship with Christ, He
didn’t worry about how much it would cost Him to save my life, so I was I
worrying? I am not “biologically” Christ’s son, but He adopted me as His own,
we don’t share DNA, we probably don’t look alike at all, but He loves me unconditionally,
so why was I worrying? If I am calling myself a follower of Christ, why was I
worrying about providing for my family when HE is the provider? God was
and IS bigger than all of my fears.
Now that we have been on this
journey for a little over a year, my fear has turned into fighting. I can say
the only fear that I have today is that tomorrow will be another day without my
boys. I was talking to a co-worker and friend the other day and trying to
explain my thoughts and the adoption paper chasing process. I asked her, if her
son was in another state and all she needed was one signed piece of paper from
a person in Sacramento what would she do? She responded with stand there until
it was signed. This is totally the journey that God has taking me on during
this process.
I am sure that I still have fears
deep inside but they are masked by the fight. I don’t care how much it costs
just get them here, I don’t care that we don’t share the same DNA I just want
to hold them, I don’t care that I don’t know how I am going to provide for a
family of four.
Awesome post, Justin. It's good to peek into the male brain (just for a second). :) Happy Birthday too!
ReplyDeleteNice!! Good to hear from the other side! Hope your babies are home soon:)
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